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Wednesday, August 31, 2005

finally they asked me what my feelings etc were. i love it that matsushima-san is so organised and practical and considerate. a pity i was under a very disorganised guy who only wants to do his own job most of the time. anyway.. i said i hoped to stay in japan a little more cos i wanted to speak better japanese and about 1 or 2 years more would be good. i guess it was a good idea since i had so much to learn. i dunno bout the other trainees but basically, their studies were well taken care of. me, i had to justify wat i wanted to learn. .... very duh.

anyway. met jac (sister'S fren hehe) to eat dinner and then she came over to collect her sMAp souvenirs.. then we made plans to go Kobe on Saturday cos my bf had no time for me anyway. so yay.. at least some one i can let my guard down with.... haiz.. very tired of putting up appearances..

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

wah piang. one of the seller is damn slow. she cannot read my jap email due to IME problems.. its a problem on her side right? because i can read the mail both in my office and in my room. and i already deposited the money today! ARGH. Seriously irritating.

kept thinking ahead of what it would be like a month from now. besides being 23 (yay!), i'll be living in a totally different place, I'll have to think for another person, and I'll definitely have to get over the fear of being alone. will not have the convenience of my friends around me, will have to spend less on myself as well..

went to dinner at swisshotel Nankai with kana and grace and wira. i had originally intended to just go dinner with kana but she kept wanting to invite other people. to be honest i hate group outings unless its with the sixoneders or with EVERyone of the same nationality. i hate mixing different groups and i hate it when you keep inviting other people when i had expected it to be just the 2 of us. i hate it even more when u're invited by the original organiser and you take it upon yourself to invite even more people. i may be civil in public but i definitely don't want to ruin an outing I organised by having bad thoughts about someone there. or just spending the time wanting to say bad things to that person's face but can't due to public courtesy.

bah.. i'm having evil thoughts again.

sianz sianz. i hope i can go to the Amusement show in Tokyo this Friday.

Monday, August 29, 2005

damn. No tickets.

guess i'll have to wait until tomorrow. damn.

but today went by fast. as always, there's a twinge when i can hear the happy conversation behind me of him and his female colleague who i think has designs on him (woman's intuition -- usually correct ok!!). she's his age, and she isn't pretty, just mature i suppose, and has adult acne (she always takes leave if she wakes up with a big zit on her face or something -- what kind of responsible person does that!?) so i guess i actually have nothing to worry about but i do worry.

i'm just afraid one day he will realise i am too childish for him. even though i can feel the love when we are together, when i run around like a little girl in public and he follows even though he is so much older and its not dignified to do that when u're 33; when he laughs at the silly imaginary scenarios i think up; when he holds me really tight and asks me what's wrong when i get hit by irrational fears in the night and worry that something bad is going to happen and i'm in a panicky mood and he just continues hugging me and patting me to sleep.. when i call him 熊さん and i refuse to answer him unless he calls me bear-ちゃん and he humours me and all my silly actions; when i bring him to see rings in the department store and even tiffany & co. and yet he shows no sign of fear and even asks me which design is my favourite..

i am so happy with him but i am afraid of retribution, that the bad things i did to hurt other people will come back to haunt me. even though he knows the truth of the past and he is the only one who knows i am not the past, that i am the person i am now and the person he loves is me now so the past doesn't matter.. i guess there is just some part of me that worry this isn't real and it is just a dream; that there isn't such a kind guy in the world who can just love me for who i am. that i will wake up from one day to realise no one can love me so much and that such a thing will happen after i finally learn to love him and him alone.

The bad things do not count as those matters are forgotten. i can't remember what has happened even, the faces have been mostly wiped from my memory. i have learnt my lessons .. please let things go smoothly from now on...

waiting to go home

Can’t wait. Will be receiving my tickets when I get home. (I think) now in the office waiting.. for wat I don’t know but I don’t think its nice to leave so early because no one left yet. Argh.

Sunday, August 28, 2005


managed to get a pair of tix on yahoo auctions! this morning. hehe.. but then ..been a whole day and the seller didn't reply yet. damn. i hope its not a fake thing. or just that he changed his mind. no matter what, the next time i go to tokyo, i will be joining the fan club no matter wat. DAMN IT.

Ryo'S back! been spending the whole weekend with him.. so happy to see him on friday.. he bought me a Wedgwood necklace (in the picture).. its really sweet.. (^-^)

and we went to the agency today.. to take a look and we saw this perfect place where the price was ok and even the room size was just nice and as i walked around inside i could imagine where everything was going to go le. but it took an awful long time for the procedures of him just placing a deposit but the lady showed us all the places she tot were suitable and it really helped caused they showed us photos of the places and even drove us to see the place itself. (^-^) suddenly, the SMAP concert seemed really wasteful and unimportant in comparison. shouldn'T i save up that amt of money for the use of new place rather? mmm shucks. yes.. starting a life with someone you really suddenly don't have the freedom of doing just anything you want with your money anymore. and its not like roommates where you can just split up all the expenses into half clean and simple. i guess this is when i have to start being an adult else he might not want to continue with me.

Friday, August 26, 2005

SMAP

Lost the bidding war for a set of SMAP concert tickets last night but I refuse to give up. Currently bidding and negotiating with other ticket holders to try to sell me .. but seriously the prices are ridiculously high. Last night I gave up when the price reached \50,000, but because I was pissed off at the people who could afford the tix, decided to jack it up until \60,000. It was a shock to me when I became the highest bidder at \60,000 for about 2 minutes and no one topped me. I didn’t want to pay that price for 2 tickets! Was panicking when of cos some idiot topped me and I heaved a sigh of relief and decided not to join in the price war. Even after that, the price kept going up and that bid ended at \85,000. …. That’s like almost S$1,000 for a freaking pair of tickets. !! (T.T)

And Jaclyn (sister’s fren) went to the concert last nite and she stayed overnite in my room and told me all about the concert. She bought me kimutaku concert souvenirs and he was so delicious. ARGH!! And then she told me she was going again on Sep 11th. !!! “#$%&U  ARGHHH ..  want to kill myself for not having joined the fan club when I was in Tokyo so that I could ballot for the tickets ( I prolly would have gotten the tickets too) ARGH!! The next time I’m in Tokyo I’m going to join so that I can go to the next concert. Yes, even if I’m in Singapore, I’ll fly to watch the concert. ARGH!!!!!!!

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

I had dinner with my sister's fren today.. she'S in osaka for student exchange and she had stuff to pass me.. (frm my family ) yay food!

anyway.. she's going to the SMAP concert tomorrow :( i'm trying to source for tickets now but they're like disgusting prices. !! BOOHOO!!! they won't have another concert for at least 2 years and they haven't had one since 2 years ago too... does anyone have any lobang?? please help me!!

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

today'S english entry

Typed the japanese entry in the office. Just saying I had a very bad stomachache today and my head was hurting and I was feeling nauseous. Dunno what happened but it hurt so badly my face turned white. (according to my colleague) argh.

Had an early meeting today with the US office so had to wake up at 6.50am. It was going well until the CEO left halfway to say he had to make a phonecall and there were us 10 people waiting for him to come back into the meeting. I think we waited at least 20 min and the head of the secretarial dept (a man hehe) called the CEO to remind him that we were waiting for him to return to the meeting cos he thought he might have forgotten about us. Hehehe… He is after all an old man..

Was just reading a Japanese business magazine, its feature this month was about blogs and its boom in Japan. Blogger, surprisingly was not in its top 10 list. On the contrary, all the blog providers were japanese providers and the top was www.livedoor.co.jp . This portal was bought over by Fuji Television this year and the creator /CEO is now a millionaire at the age of 28 I think. Very cool.

3 more days, 3 more days!!!! Argh.. the waiting is killing me .. I am dying a slow death here … had fried rice for dinner again.. I know now why my fried rice is soggy, its cos I added tofu. But then, it still tastes great. Hehe.. with belachan chilli even more so..

ok.. am going to sleep .. wednesday tomorrow (will be 2 more days left!)

Creepy Crawlies! in Tokyo!

悲しい

今日体調が悪かったです。頭とお腹が痛かった、(実はまだ痛いです)、吐き気もあります。(*.*) 悪夢だ!昨日も悪夢がありました。夜時にいつも起きていました。大変だった。私のteddy bear は先週と今週の仲間です。可哀相だと思います。金曜日に楽しみにいます。いつも同じことをいってのに、でも、本当に今週この事件だけは嬉しくなる理由です。

Monday, August 22, 2005

work was a blur today. sleepy blur though. went to sleep t 11.30pm but was just so tired this morning. very weird. and had to do translation at work too. made me even sleepier. i have decided to keep quiet more at lunches as I seriously don't know who to trust anymore. I hate to see the disgusting couple nowadays..

realised that Picasa had some fun collage functions.. will leave you with some of my fav disneyland photos. (^-^)



Tuesday tomorrow.. 4 more days till he is back ...

Sunday, August 21, 2005

Ate Thai food at Shinsaibashi 心斎橋last nite. I guess I realized something. I feel comfortable talking to him and he is someone I would confide in if only he didn’t do all those things and lie to me. Even though I was still pissed off at him, it was so easy just talking and catching up over dinner except when he stops to look at his phone and keeps on rushing to want to go back and also his stupid wallpaper on his phone. I do miss talking to him but I guess I can’t trust him as a person again. We had some moments just like it was before where I crack silly jokes and he laughs but there is just a barrier in me and the continual urge to want to say bad things about them. It really is too bad. And I realized how much I miss having someone to talk to. It’s all very well confiding in Ryo, but there is just so much you can express joy.anger, frustrations etc in our half jap half English way. And I don’t think he wants to hear me complain too. So in the end .. all the anger and resentment I usually just keep quiet about it and secretly hate all the people who takes my feelings for granted or who step on me or hurt me. I can only have dreams at night where I hurt these people back.

Speaking of happier things, managed to speak to Ryo on the phone yesterday and today. I was really happy to hear his voice and I guess him too but he was on his way to breakfast with the boss and didn’t have time to speak much. And today.. woke him at 7am hehe.. but he was so sweet and we spoke for bout 15 min before I decided to let him go back to sleep. Couldn’t really hear him over the noise in the supermarket anyway too. Argh.

So today and yesterday had lazy days.. woke up at 9, decided to study Econs today.. and so trying to read at least the intro section. Then went to the bookstore.. bought a Korean/Jap/English dictionary trying to learn Korean now too. Bought the Dilbert Principle paperback too. Hehe. On a roll.. they were selling the ikea little stool for $7 so I bought one as well and a mat for my bathroom.. so happy! My room once again is neater hehe..

Was looking at the bridal book I was supposed to give Xinhuan and I guess there was nothing special except the guys wear tux. Hehe.. and the jap kimono styled dresses. Maybe I’ll get to wear one in future..

Saturday, August 20, 2005

tze wei lended me his brushes and paints today and i had a fun day painting. water colour paintings that is..

i didn't know what to draw and the title of one of our games caught my eye so i sorta copied it out (freehand okie!)

this is wat i drew and the original is the right one


the 戦国basara title similar to dynasty warriors



my JbL speaker (left) . not the same colour but was roughly trying to get out my feel for the way it was reflecting light rather than its white colour. :)





all in all not too bad huh?

half drunk and chatting rubbish now. alone in my room drinking my johnnie walker. accidentally knocked over the glass (with bout 1/4 left) and spilt it. haiz. feeling sianz. sianz!!!!!

Friday, August 19, 2005


i see his mails in the morning when i wake up and i get perked up with the thought of him still awake (the email was sent 44 min ago from the time i read it) and i send back a reply hoping that he might still be awake to see it. its difficult being in 2 time zones, thankfully we are not those long-distance couples in totally different time zones and this is just until next Friday. i can't wait.. i can't wait! i miss just seeing his face or feeling his presence behind me in the office even though we don't talk much here. i just can't get angry at him when i see his face, i just want to smile and make him feel happy too after his day of hard work (don't you think a guy would be seriously pissed off to come home when he's all tired, to a wife who keeps complaining about every single thing, nagging and showing a black face?)

no one gave me any help on the marriage reason thing except yaohui :( but thank you yaohui.. yah i think the same way as you.. idealistic too.. i should just be firm about my beliefs and not let others sway me right?

life map sorta decided.. marry, have a career while enjoying yuppie couplehood lifestyle for a few years.. enjoy financial freedom and save up so that can have kids in the future with no financial worries (i am still young!) and then maybe have kids when i'm 27/28 and then live happily ever after. i'm not only going to marry only when I want kids, there's no chance of enjoying married life if kids come in immediately. and if i only marry when i want kids, i will have no independence from my parents until then!! i'll die before i get married probably. haha..

Thursday, August 18, 2005


yay thursday!

was in a bad mood today. having a headache but it wasn't due to lack of sleep. in fact i slept early all this week and was very awake at work. but anyway. was in a bad mood. i miss him so much. was ecstatic to receive his email this morning. and afternoon. the morning email was sent b4 he slept (5am japan time, 11pm Germany time) and received another email at when he woke up hehe.. (7am Germany time, 3pm Japan time) the time is just wat i think it was.. but anyway.. he was really sweet.. argh. one more week til he's back. can't wait for him to be back so that we can go ahead with our plans. (^.^)

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

my mood level just went down.

read xinhuan's reply to my comment and it totally hurts. i already am resigned to the fact that i'll be missing this important event so you don't have to say such things k? you don't have to say until like "its none of your business which day i choose, can't make it then can't make it lor, too bad for you." kind of tone right? she didn't say those exact words, but that's the feeling i get from her words. i am still very happy and excited that you are going to get married soon (already) (my first friend to get married!!) but i guess that's not important anymore.

like u said, the date's convenient for you & him so what matters most is that you both are happy right? so in the words of Phoebe Buffay as she holds up a cookie crumb(in friends, i think you should know which episode) "I wish you a long and happy marriage". I very sincerely hope your wedding will be marvellous..

haiz.. i dunno la. i feel like crying as i write this, it's just that i feel like i've drifted away from everyone's life and when i come back, i'm just a stranger who's missed the most important part of everyone's lives.

anyway, i asked you the question for the reason why u are getting married because i've been thinking about this thing for a while now. as in the reason for marriage. peiling'S words gave me doubts when i was very sure before. I was sure that because you love each other and you want to spend the rest of your lives together was a good enough reason to get married. but she was right, she said that you can do all these things without marriage too. then why do we need marriage? only to have kids? i don't want kids (not yet!!) but to marry just to have a legitimate (legal) reason to be together (to have sex?) seems like a very lame reason. she said that if not married, if the guy wants to leave he can just go. she also won't lose anything. but then if we love each other, we are not trying to tie down the other person with marriage cos its both voluntary right?

i am so confused. help, i need your views.

This guy is right. it never pays to work too fast.

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

overslept this morning, had to walk super fast in a pair of painful heels all the way to the station. yikes.

Ryo's going away to Europe tomorrow... sianz .. Japan phones can't be used overseas basically so he'll be uncontactable. argh. wonder what souvenirs he will bring me. cos we're not going to be seeing each other for bout 2 weeks, he came over to see me last night after work even though he was exhausted.

I felt a real earthquake for the first time today. at first i thought it was just that i was so sleepy that i started feeling faint but the shaking lasted and my colleagues suddenly said "earthquake!" and i looked around and everything was shaking. it was only level 1 on the Japan earthquake scale but everything was already oscillating in slow motion. as in the building? and the racks were visibly shaking. i can't imagine the damage if it was a level 6. (which it was at 宮城) the kobe earthquake about 10 years ago was a level 7. that time the highway collapsed under the strain i think.


the kobe earthquake's damage to a building

i am actually quite worried that a major earthquake is going to happen soon. its usually about 10 years in between each major one and recently there have been quite a few mini-major ones.

apparently the 2 disgusting people went to Hiroshima for the weekend. the creep and his desperate girlfren. i hope she gets taken advantage of and then he dumps her. but then i shouldn't be so evil.. i should hope for them a happy ending.. YAH RIGHT. i hope ur dick falls off and u both get some STD. or maybe an earthquake will happen and u 2 will kena it.

argh i've been crushed by a viewcam!

Monday, August 15, 2005


i was just looking through friendster and realised that one of the guys was attached.


Guan is Attached! -------->
(I took this from Guan's friendster page)

ok.. maybe everyone already knows and i am suaku (mountain tortoise) but I am just so happy for him! Although I dunno who the girl is but hopefully, she will be very very good to him and not break his heart or anything bah.. Congrats Guan!

Sunday, August 14, 2005


I watched this yesterday, on my pC and it was hilarious. if only real couples fought this way. the show was pretty long, and i thought all was over when they found out the truth about each other but it ended great, although a little unbelievable when they managed to shoot out the whole swat team between the 2 of them. :p Brad Pitt is of course, delicious as always, and by the chemistry he had with Angelina Jolie on this show, its no wonder his marriage with Jennifer Aniston didn't work out.. haiz....

friday evening was the stupidest thing i had ever done. i haven't had him to myself for the whole week so i decided to go to kansai airport to fetch him when he was returning from Tokyo from a day bizness trip. from the office. but the problem was that i had no idea how to go by train. so i checked the internet, it seemed easy enough and i was on the train early etc until i realised its been an hour later and i was still "on the way" there. the train was an express train and i had no idea where i was, since it didn't stop regularly so the next time it stopped, (another 5+ min later?), i realised too late that i was at another prefecture (i wasn't in Osaka anymore!!!) Wakayama 和歌山. i got off and realised it was an empty station!! horrors!! and that to reach the airport, i was supposed to have transferred trains like half an hour b4 at another station. tmD!! so confusing, how was anyone supposed to go to the airport?! it was already 10.30pm at night and it had taken me like an hour plus to have reached there from the office, so it would take 2 hours to get home in Nishinomiya.. I was almost panicking and had to send a mail to my colleague/senior (japanese) to ask her wat to do. in the end i had to wait another 15 min for the train in the opposite direction and managed to catch the last train back to the dorm. ..... what a scare.

hence i only woke up at 1pm on saturday. which ruined all our plans for the water park but it looked so cloudy we had no mood to go too. so we went for our brunch/linner at 4pm. and filled ourselves up with sushi and then we went to his place to do nothing while he checked the net for alternative living arrangements. after that, accompanied him to cut his hair (at a really high class place) and it was surprising how a person with so little hair takes over an hour to be cut. heh. after that, it was my turn when we went back. cos the salon i frequent was still open , i went to ask why my hair was turning brown after just one week and they redid my black for free. hehe.. watched Mr and Mrs Smith when i got back.. and the day ended liddat. too fast ..

today we managed to drag ourselves up at bout 9.30am, because we were both super hungry (having only eaten one meal the day b4) and had a Macdonald's breakfast b4 heading for the water park at Rokko 六甲 Island. it was actually cloudy and raining too. :( it only rains on weekends which sux and on weekdays the weather is so hot you perspire even when it's cloudy. the park was quite crowded and it was almost exactly like WildWild Wet in NTUC resort and the Jurong water park. except we(Singapore) utilised space very well by building everything in the limited space we had while the Japanese had the exact same slides/wave pools etc but had also ALOT of extra space with nothing except for people to run around. people could bring in their floats but had to pay for air to be pumped (if they wanted to), the wave pool was only half the size and very shallow (bout 1m) the locker/changing room was too small.. but overall it was fun. relaxing in the wave pool.. lying on the mat when the sun finally came out at bout 2+.. we left at bout 4.30pm to have dinner with his uni frens ..

this time, we had sushi for dinner.. DIY sushi hehe. rice in the middle, with all the ingredients laid out and u make your sushi urself, like a popiah party. the topics were mainly the same as the last time, except the kids were more friendly towards me today.. i walked in and immediately one of the little boys gave me a hug hehe.. and thank god they were quieter today too.. they (the adults of cos) were asking Ryo his plans for our future and they were all giving him advice. mmmm. but perhaps its too early to tell. :)

bah and the weekend is over just liddat .

Friday, August 12, 2005



office is pretty quiet today with no men at all. i am now slacking after lunch.. having eaten some unidentifiable chicken and siewmai things, i am beginning to feel the effects of eating UFF (unidentified fuked-up food). please everyone, for your own sakes, don't ever eat any UFF or you might end up like this..

but no i'm not really sick.. just sick of having nothing much to do.. yes, yes.. i'm complaining again.. (#-.-#)

going to the pool tomorrow.. but i can only suntan... because its the time of the month. he had to propose going to the pool just when THAT happens. oh well.. have to remember to buy sunblock/suntan lotion today and big towel i suppose..

have been on a instant noodle binge these few days. been feeling down after work for the past 2 days for no reason (probably the hormones) and offended some people and had no mood to buy food to cook dinner at all. *sighz* i need to buy some air freshener as well.

we talked about smurfs and other cartoon characters during lunch and i realised how much i missed those little blue things. the rest talked about eating them or stepping on them if they were real, i was only thinking of finding out what they were like underneath their white pant-like things they were wearing.. heh.. what a pervert hur hur..

Thursday, August 11, 2005


Yesterday I shredded paper in the office the whole afternoon after lunch. The WHOLE AFTERNOON. Had a box full of documents from my dept and I did not realize I was volunteering for that until it was too late. Oh well.. it was a idle afternoon well-spent getting to know the shredder. I managed to fill up the shredder 4 times and had to empty it as many times … :S

I guess I like siwen looking people. the clean cut look at least. Or actually just guys with no moustache, no beards, no stubble. I hate it when guys look like they dun make the effort to clean their face, that they can’t be bothered to shave at all. How long does it take you, 3 hours? I think that’s y during winter the office men look very smart. Because all of them will voluntarily wear coats and suits due to the cold. It was great.

But suddenly in summer, everyone suddenly looks crap and only those who still look impeccable in suits, you will know they are the ones who bother about their looks. (o.0) Of course, there are the great looking people who wears jeans and t-shirts too... still clean-shaven, obviously. the only person who looks great with a stubble / beard is Brad Pitt. (look to the brad pitt on the left top) and of cos without it, he looks even better. *drools*

Wednesday, August 10, 2005


I wanna drive this car! My favourite colour and my favourite pocket monster. What else could a girl want?

Regarding yesterday’s issues, I think we compromised but I haven’t had the chance to talk in person to him so I have no idea how he really feels (I need to see the person’s facial expression). We promised not to hurt each other again and I hope he adheres to it.

I tried to watch webcast NDP last night but guess wat.. my computer’s sound card was spoilt or something!! (at work) damn it… so I could see jerky images of Gurmit Singh and seas (scenes of a red sea) but no sound.. was so frustrated I just shut down my PC cos the streaming made the PC lag too. ARGH.

Had dinner with my colleagues at a Korean restaurant, ate mostly 焼肉 (think Seoul Garden but no soup and VERY DeliCIOUS) the meat was the smoothest meat I had eaten.. and my colleagues were happy that I brought them there cos they also agreed the place was delicious. I noticed it was only at such dinners where u chat and drink that you find out more bout each other’s personal life and you find out gossip etc. apparently my face has like lots of blemishes that will appear under the influence of alcohol when my face turns red and the blemishes becomes visible as red dots. How UGLY!! Ah well.. but we had fun last night, I guess it helped us bond as a team too.. the younger group of more fun people. Its easier to work together if you like one another definitely..

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

I did not have a good night.

Yesterday was a good day, up to the point where he called (actually I called since he can never or that he didn’t bother to remember my yahoo bb phone number). He had the audacity to say it was my fault for wanting so much of his time that forced him to lie and I was thinking this was the lamest excuse I had ever heard. And I couldn’t hear him clearly and asked him to repeat himself on the phone and he actually mimicked my words in a mocking tone. Asshole. I don’t even do that.

Men are all liars. ALL. Their handphones will tell you if they ever lied to you. Don’t hesitate to check when you can. Secret meetings, complaining to other girls bout you, all sorts of secrets will surface if you look into his handphone. If he guards his handphone with his life, you will know he definitely is hiding something. You give him his “privacy”, he chooses to abuse it. Don’t ever let your guard down and trust him too much.

Monday, August 08, 2005



I had a good weekend. (^.^)

We had dinner at a Thai restaurant on Friday and he wasn’t late for the first time. That’s the first good thing I guess. However, we felt that the dinner was a ripoff, it was kind of expensive for being only a 5 course dinner. It was quite delicious, just too little to be worth the price we paid. After that, we wandered around Shinsaibashi心斎橋 for a while and we saw many street performers. Mainly teenagers who were trying to get spotted. Some were really pro; they had very big amps and mike and a whole band with all the instruments all set up while some were one-man shows with tiny speakers erh.. and no one could hear them I suppose. But I applaud them for their courage, to stand there alone to do what they love. But I guess its difficult trying to shine in a country that’s so huge with such a dense population unless you’re really lucky.

Saturday lazed around in the morning basically just waiting for the 花火in the evening. There wa s a brief spate of unhappiness when I found out he had lied to me bout some incident, but I guess its just too difficult to fight when I can’t say things to hurt him (anything that he would have understood anyway.. arghh) His mom helped me wear the yukata in the afternoon b4 the 花火. She was really nice about it although I only half understood her, she was glad to practise her English as well. She did a ponytail for me and gave me advice about wearing the shoes.

The 花火was wonderful. A full hour of continuous fireworks. We tore a piece of big plastic bag into half, laid it on the ground and he sat down on it while I sat in front of him so that I could lean back into his lap comfortably. It was a breezy evening, with occasional thunder and lightning but no rain. The skies were a little cloudy but no threat of rain at all. And so the fireworks began suddenly with a loud “BOOM” with the sky lighting up suddenly with colours and showers of glitter. There were shapes of cats, alphabets, very creative forms of fireworks display. It was pretty romantic too, just sitting back and relaxing in his arms enjoying the display while I snap pictures of the bursting lights occasionally..

After the 花火ended, there was another show.. a lightning display. It was awesome and very scary. Reminded me of War of the Worlds, where we were the crowd stuck on land and could only cover our ears in fear everytime the lightning appeared. The lightning streaked across the whole night sky and you could hear cracking of the charges in the air. It was lucky we got out of there soon after that because it was seriously not safe.

Sunday I cooked lunch for him and after that we went to his place for him to get ready for some seminar he had to attend. Was stuck in Umeda with 2 hours to kill and I made him buy the Harry potter book for me to read (he doesn’t have it yet). After he left, I just wandered around, bought a screen protector for my ipod, printed photos on the photo machines, and photo stickers too.. and sat in a café enjoying dessert and my book for bout 2 hours. Bloody boring. Luckily the café had a bread buffet thing, came with my dessert set.

So after that, I went to Shinsaibashi and I was looking for some bridal magazines to send to Xinhuan before she chose her gown but I guess she doesn’t need it now. She can’t even wait just one more month for me to be back b4 she holds her wedding, I guess my presence / attendance isn’t very important to her at all. Well.. anyway.. I already bought the magazine, their designs here are quite different due to the seasons, but since I guess it won’t be in time for her to choose her gowns already, so I’ll just look through it myself. Yes, I am pretty pissed off about it, but its my own fault for going out of everyone’s life for a whole year and a half right? I can’t possibly expect everyone to put their lives on hold for me right? If she’s getting married so early, she’ll probably hold her housewarming b4 I’m back too. I guess I should just consider myself out of her life for good bah. No part in her wedding at all. Haiz.

I digress. Anyway.. Ryo bought me a watch! Ecstatic cos its like the first real present he bought for me. I didn’t ask for it, we were actually looking in swatch for a watch for work cos my CK’s strap is sorta falling apart and I didn’t want to be wearing it all the time in case it really does. So we were looking in swatch but no design seems really suitable and he said I should get a casual watch and look someplace else for a nice watch. Then I said if I was going to have to get an expensive watch myself, I don’t think I would be buying anything then, to save up for the more exp watch, unless he bought me a cheap/simple watch for the time being. He was like “ ok if you wan me to” hehe.. I was sooo happy! Then we looked around and came back to the first one I had looked at.

which is the one shown above of cos..

and he bought it for me. he held it in his hands all the way back.. then in my room he held it out to me and said “Here, this is for you.” Hehehee.. like I wasn’t the one who chose it… then I said “有難うございます!” (arigato gozaimasu) very solemnly, hehe and then gave him a small peck on the lips and it was really sweet. (^.^)

ah well.. more sweet moments to come hopefully.. that's all for the weekend ..

Saturday, August 06, 2005



too tired to explain.. i'll just share this beautiful scene with u :) will speak more tomorrow.. good night!

Friday, August 05, 2005

waiting for dinner at my desk now. today 私の機嫌が良いです! (^-^) でも理由わからない.. (^.^) ehe... was in good mood today but i don't know why.. despite having some disagreements etc, i was still in a good mood. maybe because i felt i did something useful in the work place rather than just zoboing.. that's why to have work to do at work is really important! else u'll just lose ur sense of motivation and everything moves downhill from there. (^.^)

Thursday, August 04, 2005

ok its finally thursday.

whew.

it probably isn't good that i'm counting down the days to the weekend. but peiling is right, once u lose your respect for someone, its hard to respect that person again. that includes friends, family, even superiors or colleagues. I might be young but i don't wish to waste my time doing nothing. this society is really the pits. they want you to spend long hours at the office yet they don't give you work but yet expect you to stay just cos everyone else is staying (becos they can't finish their work). they have no end goal in mind for me, they only know what skills i should have but i have to pick them up on my own time (and do nothing during office hours) .. what kind of training programme is this? but then i'd rather be in here getting money for nothing than out there looking for a job so i should just shut up.

but i hate wasting my time doing nothing.

last night i had a very weird dream. i dreamt that i was having dinner with my colleagues and suddenly my nose started bleeding. not streaming but just dripping blood. i had to wake up after wiping my nose so i don't really know the rest of it. but didn't sleep well.. the dream was kinda eerie don't you think?

Today 太鼓の達人PSP is released..should I buy it? I’m bored of the games I have already and the games I like are not mine haha.. Some games on my wish list is Burnout: Revenge PS2/PSP, Ridge Racer PSP, GTA PSP, and the game released today. Anyone wants to give me early bday presents?

can't wait for hanabi 花火(fireworks)this week.. will be wearing my yukata浴衣 (a simplified version of the kimono for the summer) with the help of Ryo's mom and going to the hanabi in that! that's what the japanese people do .. so excited!

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

still having a blasted sore throat.. i hate these kinda things.. only the left side somemore.. argh. sweets don't seem to help and its the kind which are so painful when you swallow or yawn.. OUCH......

cut my hair last night hehe.. its now alot thinner but still as long.. and is a different colour. haha.. but its for the better.. will post a pic when i look nice hehe.. last night was nice but i looked so tired i didn't dare take a picture.. still minor headache and nightmares.

i had a weird one last nite.. i dreamt of xinhuan and how i received money that were yen but looked like dead people's money. it was scary.. they were big pieces of the existing currency. yuck..

but during the weekend i had a great dream bout Kimura Takuya.. hee hee.. he was looking for an English teacher and was holding interviews for the period when i went back to Singapore. he spoke to me in Jap and i could answer. Ryo was in my dream but he was so bored when i was talking to my idol he fell asleep on the couch. wahahaha.. it was a marvelous dream.. and i wish i could see KimuTaku at least once in real life when I'm here..

I realise better looking people do more often get wat they want as compared to others. not only from other guys or girls but just so that things happen. luck ? or just the self confidence ?

Monday, August 01, 2005

Score of baseball game yesterday..
Hanshin Tigers 1 – Yukuruto Swallows 2

I guess its just bad luck. And the supporters were pretty silly. Why couldn’t they make less noise when our batters were batting to let them focus? No wonder the other team won, the Swallows’ fans were so few that they prolly couldn’t be heard when they were batting too.. wahahaha.. no wonder they got off more runs and bases. Anyway the game was fun… esp when everyone cheered for the tigers together when they managed to get bases and all.. and u got to see the ugly side of Japanese as well, esp the younger ones. Haiz. But well.. I dun care for that, if they offend me prolly I’ll just kick them or something (the girls)

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